We think we know ourselves, we blame ourselves for everything and we live in this constant fight of choosing right or wrong, oh man, it’s so much harder, deeper and unconscious than that…
We live in a rush of getting things done, of making sure our message was clear, of making sure we’re not missing any important step, follow up, whatever, we need to be included in what’s going on, otherwise! What??? Otherwise you’re a lunatic, you’ve got something wrong with you, you’re not included in that whatever.
Yeah, we forget we have this very present animal part in us that usually ends up making our choices for ourselves… Then we’re very good at finding reasons and excuses for why and why not, we did or we didn’t do something.
We know very little, and usually it’s in those crucial times that we find it out.
Only with age and life experience do we start being a bit more cautious before showing what’s on our mind, and even then, it’s not for all. Disclosing to our friends or whoever, what you’re really are thinking and feeling, requires a bit of “dementia”, a bit of very sensitive bravery.
So how do you get to fully trust in your thoughts and consequently, your decisions?
Some have religion for that, which sets up rules of good behaviour, but good behaviour doesn’t exclude inner hurt, pain, and insecurity.
All of us find something that will take our attention out of our questions, that’s why, being left alone it’s usually a painful thing. Being left alone means being left with our doubts, regrets, with our unspoken words. And you start, because it’s our nature, to question the purpose of being here. We need a purpose, we need a reason to get off bed, to get out of the door. That’s why we partner up. We need an excuse for waiting, for postponing, for not having to think about ourselves, we’ve got someone else to worry about, and it’s so much easier to direct our attention onto someone else… Then you have kids and it’s a whole new unselfish view of life. You don’t choose for yourself, you choose for them. They’re the reason for anything, even for your deranged actions, it was for them! You did it for them. Yeah, we project our worries onto others very easily.
When you’re in front of your reflection, what do you see? We see whatever our mind is feeling. If it happened that there was a nice tune or conversation before we saw ourselves, all cool, we are good people, but if you see yourself before a disappointment, something that didn't go as expected, ui, you don’t look as great do you?
That’s why trusting too much on your mind is letting you, whoever you are, being led by a very partial, sensitive, and pre-conditioned judge. Pre-conditioned in so many ways: parenthood, school, life opportunities, religion, race and color.
“No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life”
How can we find some tranquility in being, knowing so little about ourselves and reasons for purely existing, or sadly, stop existing? … This is going to sound bad, but the solution might be, not really caring so much for what others think. You’ve been given an existence, and that’s all we have. We exist. And existing means: taking care of yourself. How can we do that? With respect. Respect about the nature of things and people. Because we do know very little, that first respect and compassion about ourselves is really important to forgive, care and grow up, and later it has to be used on others too. People around us choose and make, say things that cary so much of their existence, without being aware of. We give so much space for misunderstandings, unveiled mistakes, it happens all the time. We exist by miracle and for that we so should be humble. Why are we here? Why are some called to leave? Why so many suffer so much? Why does life on this earth seem to be so unfair, so cold, while being for so many others, amazingly warm and blessed?
We know very little, and some have spent their whole life trying to write some sort of manual of conscious conducts, but we still know very little. We do know that through understanding, forgiveness and space (be it physical or through time) we give an opportunity to a more peaceful and loving life, and that’s all we aspire to. Whether you’re a super rich person, or someone closed in, what we most wish for is to love and be loved and feel inner peace.
“The process by which man is able to posit his own subjective nature outside of himself … is at [the] bottom of all effort and the germinating principles of all reform and all progress.”
“To know what one ought to do is certainly the hardest thing in life. ‘Doing’ is comparatively easy.”
Maria Mitchell (astronomer)