“It’s amazing how you can affect somebody else so deeply even with the simplest gestures of goodwill and friendship. It’s equally amazing if not more, when without exception you train your mind to see others as people who matters…as an added bonus, you start seeing yourself in the same way.”
It’s best to be a Dreamer than a pessimist, but hey, we’ve got to keep in mind the system behind all things. Rules are necessary. They provide stability, balance and fairness. If we turn to be just Dreamers, we don’t actually end up creating anything. Things end up just happening inside our heads. So, be present, meaning, don’t suffer in anticipation and keep your head on what’s in front of you right NOW, but don’t just stand in the NOW, use it to plan, to build, to take the first, the second, the third baby step to build your dream.
"My favourite surf spot is anywhere I can have a wave with a few friends, not too crowded, have a giggle. That's the best spot you can find, as far as I am concerned. It doesn't have to be anywhere special, it just has to be somewhere where you're having a good time." ~ Jack McCoy
“Your soul doesn’t care what you do for a living - and when your life is over, neither will you. Your soul cares only about who you are while you are doing whatever you are doing.” ~ Neale Donald Walsch
... and why no one can explain why we let it be sometimes the thing that hurts us the most and we keep holding on to it...
If only they could see
If only they had been here
They would understand
How someone could have chosen
To go the length I've gone
To spend just one day riding
Holding on to you I never thought it would be this clear."
_ Kings of Convenience
“You hold in your hand an invitation: to remember the transforming power of forgiveness and loving kindness. To remember that no matter where you are and what you face, within your heart peace is possible.” — Jack Kornfield
... then, with LOVE, embrace your fear and speak to yourself gently. Understand why you feel scared, tell yourself that now you know you have a wound needed to be heal and follow with the treatment. I can be: screaming your name; writing a fake letter to whom it may concern; or to dance the fear away...
“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
— Carl Jung
Procrastination is “the art of keeping up with yesterday and avoiding today.”
_ Wayne Dyer, Your Erroneous Zones
We grow and we think everything is going naturally and accordingly with the same growing process as everybody, but that is so not true!
We grow in a specific family environment, we attend a certain school with unique and specific teachers, colleagues, and in all this growing and learning we grow by adaptation. We learn to adapt to our external circumstances.
We build our beliefs, we build our personality traits. We learn how to tell the truth or how to lie. We learn how to get what we want or how not to want anything. We learn to love or we fall out of love with everyone, especially ourselves.
When finally you're a grown up you do all you can to make the outside world meet your inner world, but it’s dam hard. You’ve learned for so long about adapting yourself, that you lose yourself in this process, and in this constantly changing reality of meeting new people, new jobs, new communities, you get lost. So most of us go back to our early teenager response to difficult situations: the “whatever” shoulder shrunk, the make pretend you’re doing just fine, you go as far as pretending you’re having the time of your life!
One consequence of this adaptation to what we think is being asked from you from the outside world is becoming a procrastinators.
It might start like this. You don’t believe in yourself enough to think you can do a good a job, so you make excuses. Or you’ve spend so much time by yourself that you’ve lived most of your life in a fantasy world, so when it comes to facing reality, you prefer procrastinating, that way you keep yourself open for fantasying hopes and wishes...
On Procrastination Handout adapted from Dr. Sandra L. Davis
When do we procrastinate?
Staying in a job in which you feel stuck and dissatisfied.
Not tackling bad habits such as smoking, excess drinking, overeating.
Avoiding a confrontation with a friend, significant other, spouse, or boss.
Using the “I’d do it if I had the time excuse”, if you are challenged about what is undone.
Always criticizing how others behave rather than being a “doer” yourself.
Starting term papers and projects so late that you do not have a chance to do well.
Putting off menial or unpleasant tasks like cleaning your apartment, doing laundry, or
going grocery shopping (provided you place importance on these tasks and do not have
Becoming ill on the day you were to be part of something unpleasant.
Why do we procrastinate? How many Sunday nights have you sat down to write your week’s “to do” list with every good intention of completing every task only to find that by Tuesday you have conveniently lost your list and are once again procrastination? Many people think that if they just set their mind to it, the procrastination will go away. This is called “magical thinking.” Nothing disappears of its own accord. But understanding is the first step to changing you behavior. So, first try to understand what causes procrastination and why it persists despite momentary attempts at change.
Procrastination is a safety blanket. No behavior is continued unless it has a payoff. While you might like to believe that the misery you feel as a result of procrastinating could not possibly be rewarding, in fact, it is. Somewhere, somehow, it must net you something. Procrastination is another word for protectionism. In almost all cases, by procrastinating we protect ourselves from something else that feels far more difficult to face.
Procrastination often saves us from our fear of failure. If we are worried that we will not do well on a paper or assignment, often we do nothing at all.
Procrastination maintains perfectionism. Sometimes we feel the need to do everything perfectly. When we get busy we fear that there is no time to do a quality job on everything, and so again, we do nothing at all.
Procrastination may be caused by a fear of success. If we do very difficult projects exceptionally well, we could draw attention to ourselves. The pressure to always do well would then be overwhelming. Therefore, rather than getting attention for doing something very challenging very well, we wait until the last minute and do a rushed job, or nothing at all.
Procrastination is a form of rebellion. If you really do not want to do something, telling people that you do not have the time saves you from telling them that you never wanted to do it in the first place.
Procrastination allows us to live in the world of hopes, wishes, and maybes. If you do not send your resume out to all those firms you wanted maybe the one you did not send it to will call you for an interview. Maybe the professor will cancel the exam so you will not study for it until the last minute. If you ignore the problem with your roommate (or housemate), you hope it will just go away. Fantasies are easier to cope with than taking the risk of change.
How procrastination starts a cycle of stress.
In Procrastination, authors Burka and Yuen describe the experience of destructive procrastination as an emotional roller-coaster that follows a cycle of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The cycle begins with a hopeful thought of starting early this time. Emotions change as the time for an early start passes and the procrastinator thinks, “I have got to start soon.” As time goes on the initial optimism fades and is replaced by a sense of foreboding. A number of thoughts and feelings compete for attention. They seem to keep the individual in a state of paralysis. There is guilt with the realization that “I should have started sooner.” There may be a flurry of activity as the procrastinator searches for a way to feel on top of things, doing everything but the project at hand. He or she may feel ashamed, hoping that no one finds out. Some people go so far as to invent incredible excuses for not working on a project. Sick relatives and family emergencies are common excuses that only make the procrastinator feel fraudulent when concerned colleagues offer condolences. The cycle continues with a hope that there is still time to do the work. Eventually, the procrastinator worries desperately that he (or she) is missing some fundamental characteristic like ability, courage, or brains. At some point he makes a final choice to do or not to do. He may give up and think “why bother?” He may plunge in and do something, regretting that he had not given himself enough time. Invariably, the cycle ends with a fervid vow never again to procrastinate.”
STOP AVOIDING YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN YOUR INNER CHILD AGAIN. GO OUT AND LIVE YOUR REALITY. DON'T STAND THERE WAITING TO BE HEARD, RESCUED OR SAVED. TAKE YOURSELF BY THE HAND AND DIVE DEEP INTO THE WORLD. YOU DESREVE TO LIVE AS MUCH I DO OR AS ANY OTHER BEING.
We share dreams, hopes, wishes, desires, we sketch charts and checklists to meet our goals. We promise we won’t repeat this and that, and we give birth to the strongest intention of becoming clearer, flexible, lighter ...
What we wish the most is to be flooded by Love. To feel the immensity of belonging and fitting everywhere, every time. To feel connected with everything and everything connected with us. To feel that the words we think and speak are exactly what is being heard and felt. We wish for an eternal warm embrace. The protection from all our fears as the most beautiful Love slips in our soul and erases all doubts. What we wish the most is to be in Love always and forever. To feel One. (...) “Think about it, there must be higher love Down in the heart and in the stars above, Without it, life is wasted time. Look inside your heart, I'll look inside mine (...)
“No matter what area of your life you are facing a problem with, lack of love for yourself is the cause behind it. Like Louise Hay says, be it your work, relationships, finances or life in general that you feel is not working out the way you want it to, then you’ve got some loving to do. Love yourself enough till it overflows into all areas of your life.” — One solution to any problem “Perhaps many of us do not like it where we are in the universe now, but we can all be certain that we got where we are by our own decisions to expand in love or withdraw from it.” — The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment - Thaddeus Golas
“This life takes a lot more courage than I ever gave it credit for. When I was growing up around here I was always fantasizing heroic shit without realizing that what was shaping up was going to be the greatest heroic adventure of them all: trying to live and be a decent human being. That shit takes more courage than I ever had.” — Junot diaz
Some of us were raised believing we should please everyone. Some of us, as little kids, were so eager to hear theirs parents saying nice things, or just that we did good, that when we are older, adults really, that necessity for applause, for a tap on your back, for a compliment, or just to feel accepted by others by being the cool nice friend, lingers on forever.
When that happens we forget about ourselves and we live to please. We live on trying to please our buddies, our teachers, our girlfriends, our spouses, our boss, any stranger that looks unpleased with something we did, we get anxious just by wondering if that new person we’re meeting is going to like us or not. We assume that people won’t like us immediately unless we give them something, unless we lay down on the floor with our belly up and ask for some “pettling”.
So, if you think you might be the type, and you already know it’s not easy to change a behaviour you’ve learned all your life, think about this.
You might be a people’s pleaser, but if you choose your priorities right that trait can turn into something healthier for you. Learn to put yourself first and start by pleasing yourself. If you have to please, ask what do you need to please you.
“If you’re gonna concern yourself about second opinions, don’t let it be about what others may think…let your concern fall instead on how your Soul feels.”
We are creating a new Global Mind. Society is changing through all this new technology, everything is happening in such fast mode, sometimes it’s even hard to breathe at this pace, but we adapt. We are very adaptable creatures. It’s essential that we bring in us the Care and Love for ourselves and others. Values such as Respect, Tolerance, Truth, Honesty, Freedom, Friendship and Consciousness are vital for us to evolve the best way possible.
It’s important for our own Health and the Health of our society to have things in the right place.
Like your job, make it resonate with your passion; Have 2, 3 people you consider best friends, with whom you communicate in a daily basis; Exercise everyday; go for a walk, run, play outside; Get a good night sleep everyday; It’s important not to worry about money, so make you sure to build financial independency; Give back, volunteer, help someone, share.
You better be a badass dreamer. And you better not question yourself if you can or cannot do something.
Let go of who you think you are, to become who you really are.
The real strengh doensn't come from your body, comes from your Heart.
Everyone has that badass dreamer inside, but maybe we question too much our limits.
Here's one, of so many amazing examples, a person who believes in the impossible. Having her Life designed to become an athlete and then one day being crushed by a truck, she says: "Embrace the virtues of the heart. Make that rock bottom situation your spring trigger to go even higher."
Watch the video and put your energy where it should be. In your Dreams!
The things that are hard for you right now, are the things that are teaching you and leading you towards a better version of yourself.
That’s why we can have thoughts of Love and Gratitude towards the things, people or situations that we think are bad and so wish to change. They are actually helping us! You see, change comes from the desire of getting away from what is hurting us. Change comes from feeling uncomfortable with who we are. If it wasn’t for someone irritating you, you would just stay the same old same. Why bother to evolve and expand?
So think about what is going on that you wish to end, and then think about what you can change in yourself to put a break on it. That’s how we evolve...
Stop thinking about how you can change your boss, your colleagues, your spouse, your family. They won’t change just because of your effort to change them. It’s a bit arrogant to think that you know best about someone else’s life. Change starts with your own self. Simple and raw. Instead of looking out for reasons for your sadness and Monday blues, have a good, deep and honest look towards yourself. What is it that you’re missing? What can you do to gain an honest, loving and lasting smile on your face?